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When someone gives me a hard time - be it a colleague, an employee, a partner, a friend or a stranger, before reacting, I ask myself one question: ‘Is it any of my business?’

I usually don’t react.

What that question does is show you whether this person’s problem or drama has got anything to do with you.

95% of the time it has nothing to do with you and it is just them having a bad day or, if it is a closer relationship, it is often the other party living out their childhood and past traumas.

It’s very rare that it is really about you.

And, if it is, then you take appropriate action. Having paused and assessed how much of your business it is.

But, when it isn’t about you, and you consciously realise this, you are able to step away from it and have some  distance.

A reaction vacuum.

The only way to get to bed calm is to not engage with the other people’s drama, and then, of course, your own.